I found myself at the check out with a book titled The Creative Cure, by Jacob Nordby. It drew me to it, simply because I have been feeling drained in all aspects of my life. Upon picking this book up I was doubting my own self-expression and creativity and skill. Since art school, I stopped doing art on a daily basis, I ended up in a career that is highly stressful and in relationships that were toxic and unfulfilled. I have no joy and feel my soul is dead.
I attend counseling and I was just talking about this with my counselor a few weeks ago. That was when I made a vision board. I really want to live my life based on this vision board. But… as the book describes: on page xviii
“I now knew that I had created a life based on acquisition of stuff that was fueled by an inner fear of rejection, all in a futile attempt to live up to society’s definition of success. I also knew it was quite literally killing me and that I couldn’t do it much longer. Yet I was stuck, afraid to destroy what I had built. how could I walk away from my house, job, wife, or kids? I felt I would rather die.” (Nordby)
There it was in black and white staring at me, the words I have been thinking and feeling. I now have no choice but continue to read this book and continue with the exercises in this book in hopes the creative cure will greet me as it did for this author.
exercise one: Journaling
what?! that is something I tell my clients to do. But me, you are asking me to journal. Yes, I don’t feel like I am a writer, I don’t want my vulnerability out there for others to find and I have no idea what to write about. He mentioned that journal writing can help let go of the traumas, sadness and anything stopping the creativity. I do believe that, so I must start writing.
exercise two: Meditation
okay you got me Jacob Nordby. Yes I meditated, but never was consistent. Yes I do yoga, but no I never connect it to a meditative state. So now I need to fulfill my time on the mat with more focus on a meditative state to connect with my mind and body than simply doing it to feel better with my physical health.
I will be posting more about the exercises in posts to come as I explore this book and find my way back to creativity.
where’s my flower paintings: glad you wondered: my studio has been extremely stuffy and hot. I am unable to safely be in there for a few hours without overheating and having my legs and feet swell. So the air conditioner man will be coming tomorrow and hopefully it can be repaired. But if I have to replace it I accepted the expense it will take on me. I really need air conditioning. My acupuncturist told me yesterday I need to eat cool meals and stay in a cool room, because my blood vessels are expanding causing edema to get worse.
A little doodle that I can do away from my studio ….