What is creativity? Chapter 2 of The Creative Cure by Jacob Nordby
He suggests this mantra:
I am creative. I am an artist. I am creating my life.
uhmmm, Am I? That is the struggle. Do I see myself as an artist or see myself as a counselor. I certainly don’t do art daily. But I work as a counselor most of the week.
On page 4 he writes “somewhere along the way, we traded this immersive creativity for logic, predictability, correctness, and responsibility.”
That is very true in my life. Logical thinking must be present in order to establish stability for clients. Predictability, people depend on that to calm their nerves. Correctness-let’s face most of my day, I am correcting their behaviors or decisions. Responsibility, well that is part of the job, a lot of rules and laws to follow. So where is the creativity in my day?
Wait! He writes about the enemies of creativity: there are three types of areas that cause out block for creativity:
Socialization, traumatic experiences, rejection-pg 5
Socialization: There is an influence from society that causes the creative to not feel welcomed. The social norms seem to rob us of our youth and creative spirit. I conformed to a full time job with benefits and all the perks. I couldn’t life that way anymore. I went into private practice. I work better with a flexible schedule. When I started working with a flexible schedule, there were doubters, saying it will be hard to pay my bills. It hasn’t been hard, in fact easier! They said that I wouldn’t like having to work in the evening. wrong I prefer late afternoon and evening times, I feel more energy then. What do social norms know about me anyway?!
Trauma: I have witnessed and listened to trauma experiences for all my life. Trauma I believe has caused my flow of creativity to stall. It has caused intense anxiety, social anxiety and feelings of depression. I work with clients with trauma and have heard things that will never be able to unhear again. I feel a sense of sadness about people’s trauma. I never acknowledged my trauma until this year. I will never forget witnessing my friend being physically abused by her brother at her birthday party. I never wanted to go over anyone’s home. I still feel that way today. I prefer my place and I prefer quietness. I will not watch anything with abuse in it as it causes me to have anxiety and flashbacks.
I have experienced trauma of my mother’s death. It is something I don’t share, as there are parts of her death that will remain hidden and only me will carry them. I accepted her death, but the sadness of watching my father age is traumatic for me.
Rejection. Definitely happens to me all the time. I was rejected my the first boy I had a crush on. I was rejected by men that pretended to like me. I say pretend because it was simply that, they were dishonest with me and the woman they were dating. I was stood up my a man for a date. I was in the middle of getting ready, that I double checked on the time and he finally replied an hour late. And I was rejected for a job that I really wanted: I was more of an art job working with mental health. I was upset.
Here’s a few paintings about my grief and trauma:
More to come