There was a time period where I would be asked “are you dating anyone.” My reaction would be a hard swallow and then I would feel my heart race and finally say in a gentle way “no.”
Then the next question would be, “why?”
Or the comments would be, you don’t flirt enough, you will find someone, you need to go on dates, you need to talk to more than one guy on the dating sites, you need to get out and be social….you need, you need, you need.
Then they would walk away leaving me feeling sad, hopeless, crying on the inside, hating myself and feeling like it’s a mountain I can’t climb.
They had no idea I felt this way.
I am single. I don’t date. I don’t need to flirt, nor talk to anyone on dating sites. I don’t need to do all the things they say as weaknesses.
I have a successful career and own a home. I have a dog and 6 cats! I paint and draw. I started selling on Etsy. And I just started an online art therapy practice….https://www.zenartandwellness.com
So do I need to be coupled? No.
Did they ever ask if I wanted to be coupled? No.
Did they ever find out what my goals are in life? No, they assumed I wanted a marriage and kids.
Did they ever ask what I was currently working on? No, I was career focused.
Did they ever ask if I was lonely? No, but their comments made me feel lonely and rejected.
Be Kind to Independents
Independent single women and men are unique people. We have a different view of life. We are not free all the time to babysit your children, to just sit around and no nothing. We are working, paying bills, fixing things in the house, cleaning, taking care of our pets, making appointments, car maintenance, going to work, etc etc.
We do this by ourselves. And normally we don’t complain. But couples complain that they don’t have time for this and that, or their partner doesn’t do enough. (I laugh) they never once think about their friend or cousin or coworker who is independent and lives alone has to do everything by themselves.
We might choose to be single. Some want to be married or coupled. But never assume that all want that marriage and kids lifestyle.
And never assume we are at home with tons of time to sit around and eat bon-bons.
I live happily independent.
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