This site is about my life in the art studio. It includes drawings, paintings, knitting and cross stitch and fun art techniques. I will also include recipes and yoga and book reviews. This is a lifestyle blog with intentional and simple living ideas.
I’m exhausted, my legs are swollen, they look like elephant legs and I’m in pain.
It’s all because I have an autoimmune illness, Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have had this since I was 2 years old.
The lymphedema and lipedema was diagnosed last year.
So I’m sitting on my sofa, watching a comedy show ready to fall asleep at 5:40pm. I had a late lunch. It was delicious, mushroom stroganoff and green beans.
Anyway, I’m just relaxing and decided to crochet my blanket tonight.
I really should do some art examples for my art therapy practice. But I don’t feel like putting my legs down.
Here’s what I have done
Rue Paris cross stitch
Crochet blanket
I closed my Etsy shop recently. I might be back later this year to reopen it. I have to figure out my counseling practice and I need to work more. Things are just too expensive right now. Everyone is feeling it. We will get through it because we have to.
Once I get something in my head I am determined to seek it out. There are times that I could feel defeated but I might take a break and come back and figure out what I need to do. Then when I realize that maybe it’s just not going the way I want, I’m still determined to figure out what the next step is.
Determination means
the act of deciding definitely and firmly. also : the result of such an act of decision. : firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end. a woman of great courage and determination. fierce determination to succeed.
I work as a mental health counselor. The best compliment has been when I’m at my low, when I feel like clients are not being grateful for my help, there will always be a handful that will tell me during that time how much they are grateful for me.
It always brings me tearful, joyful tears. I thank them and say I appreciate that you said that.
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
There was a time period where I would be asked “are you dating anyone.” My reaction would be a hard swallow and then I would feel my heart race and finally say in a gentle way “no.”
Then the next question would be, “why?”
Photo pexels
Or the comments would be, you don’t flirt enough, you will find someone, you need to go on dates, you need to talk to more than one guy on the dating sites, you need to get out and be social….you need, you need, you need.
Then they would walk away leaving me feeling sad, hopeless, crying on the inside, hating myself and feeling like it’s a mountain I can’t climb.
They had no idea I felt this way.
Photo pexels
Present Day
I am single. I don’t date. I don’t need to flirt, nor talk to anyone on dating sites. I don’t need to do all the things they say as weaknesses.
I have a successful career and own a home. I have a dog and 6 cats! I paint and draw. I started selling on Etsy. And I just started an online art therapy practice….https://www.zenartandwellness.com
So do I need to be coupled? No.
Did they ever ask if I wanted to be coupled? No.
Did they ever find out what my goals are in life? No, they assumed I wanted a marriage and kids.
Did they ever ask what I was currently working on? No, I was career focused.
Did they ever ask if I was lonely? No, but their comments made me feel lonely and rejected.
Be Kind to Independents
Independent single women and men are unique people. We have a different view of life. We are not free all the time to babysit your children, to just sit around and no nothing. We are working, paying bills, fixing things in the house, cleaning, taking care of our pets, making appointments, car maintenance, going to work, etc etc.
We do this by ourselves. And normally we don’t complain. But couples complain that they don’t have time for this and that, or their partner doesn’t do enough. (I laugh) they never once think about their friend or cousin or coworker who is independent and lives alone has to do everything by themselves.
We might choose to be single. Some want to be married or coupled. But never assume that all want that marriage and kids lifestyle.
And never assume we are at home with tons of time to sit around and eat bon-bons.
This is a prompt to write about that has been on my mind. What is my dream home? Hmmm.
Photo pexels
It would be in the woodlands, forest trees sounding my home, with flowers that have the scent of lavender, roses and earthy smells. There will be tulips in the spring, roses for the summer and burning bushes in the autumn. In the winter, there will be decorations on the outside of the home with evergreen clippings, pinecones and berries. The quietness of life at this home would allow me to have endless time of making oil paintings, sewing and needle work. The kitchen would be stocked with veggies and fruits, and pastries every once in awhile. The rooms of the house would be small, comfortable and warm and cozy. There would be fresh tea daily as I would sit at the large window and ponder my day. There would be space for yoga and a huge room for my art studio. I would be in the studio daily making art and packaging my art to customers who purchased it.
The sounds of birds while the windows are open and the crickets and frogs would be a welcome delight along with my cats and dogs. I would have a shed in the backyard for garden tools and would work in my vegetable garden early in the morning.
The home would have an art studio with a wall full of windows with a sliding door that leads to a patio where I can sit on a soft bench and mediate
It’s been one of those times in life where you just want to make a change. I have felt stuck, feeling tired, lost, wondering if I have been living in imposter syndrome all my life. Then one day I got on Instagram and came across a workshop that was free to learn how to start an art therapy practice.
I sprang from my chair, and gasped for air and said that’s what I’ve always wanted.
It was extremely insightful and positive. Made me feel like I can do it! I can do it! And I did it!
I opened an art therapy business. It’s online for now until I can make money to pay rent. It has been open for only 4 days so I am praying to get a few clients soon.
Most people on this blog know that I am an artist, so no surprise that I would say anything art related, but mostly cross stitching. There is nothing like the feel of the thread going through the little tiny holes in the cross stitch fabric. I love the colors of the threads when they are stitched together or side-by-side. It’s a calming way to pass the time away, especially on Sunday afternoons. I usually work a few hours Sunday morning at my counseling job, and then I grab lunch and then get comfortable under a blanket with my cross stitch supplies to the side of me.
I will watch a show on Netflix and stitch for hours without caring about anything else. There have been times I stitched so much my hand was swollen and it hurt so much. I also had times were the housework just had to wait until another day. The stitching is priority!
Cross stitching and any needlepoint is an old-fashioned craft, and I wish more people would learn how it can be rewarding to follow a pattern and get a wonderful beautiful painting in threads at the end.
Articles, products, reviews and information on homesteading, survival and off-grid living, alternative energy resources and pursuing a sustainable lifestyle.
4pawsartstudio 
You must be logged in to post a comment.