This site is about my life in the art studio. It includes drawings, paintings, knitting and cross stitch and fun art techniques. I will also include recipes and yoga to keep the mind healthy and creative.
I have not been posting for awhile. Simply because I needed a break. Most of my free time has been cross stitching. My goal is to finish Derby by February.
Also my hours at work has increased slightly as new clients are calling. I have a goal to pay off some bills this early part of the year. I will need to consider buying a car later next year.
With that being said, I decided to not move. It saddens me but I need to focus on my long term goal. The long term goal is to not work as a counselor in my 60’s, and find other work to do. Or to work from home full time in 5 years. If I got another 30 year loan, then I would have no choice but work more hours and for a longer time.
Therefore, I am staying at my townhouse. And plan on finishing updating the bathroom and kitchen.
Since it is getting colder out the neighbors have stayed inside. I’m looking forward to the cold months ahead because there’s less chance my neighbors will harass me. (I am being harassed because I’m on the HOA board) trust me we made positive changes, gave owners more freedom. Someone people are just mean and hateful and don’t want others to have freedom and happiness.
Sunday, I finished a column on Derby early. I decided to close up the house early and found my way to a canvas. Afterwards I did yoga, read the Bible and read some paragraphs about chakras. Then I went to bed at 8:30! I have been exhausted and really need the sleep. I hope this extra sleep will decrease the inflammation from rheumatoid arthritis.
Here’s the beginning of the painting. I believe it will change drastically. It might not even look like this next time you see the update.
I have items on Etsy shop. Paintings and knit headbands and scarfs that’s great for the winter.
Today was quiet. I slept for most of the day. The exhaustion level is high. As I write this at 9:30 at night, I am ready to sleep again.
This morning my voice was assertive. I told the HOA manager that I am thinking about resigning because of the bullying and not feeling at peace. I am also considering moving. I told her that I don’t want to be bothered by association issues daily. It’s unreasonable.
Here’s the thing most people here about how bad the association is at a condo or townhouse. But have you ever heard about how the board members get harassed and bullied? Probably not. There is nothing we did to cause that other than following the rules.
I’m not sure what decision I will make. Not sure if I want to move. All I know is I want peace and quiet again. That may result in me resigning. Time will tell as they say.
Here’s my journal painting on canvas tonight…
Below is a close up of tonight’s painting.
Below is the series of nights I painted on the same canvas using intuitive painting.
I have things to sort out then I can get back to making my art stronger and focus on my Etsy store.
Darkness of Anger is the title of tonight’s painting.
I am on edge. If you ever lived in a relationship of harrassment or abuse, then you will certainly understand.
Everyday there is something one of these people doing that infringes in my life. My home used to be an oasis. They destroyed it. I can’t walk my dog without constantly looking over my shoulder. They bang on doors. I will refuse to answer. They complain and want to take my personal time away. For some reason every complaint they make we must find a solution.
I used to have an evening of relaxation, watching tv, doing art, yoga. Now it’s filled with worries, constantly thinking and not feeling safe.
Has anyone lived in a community of HOA? I am on the HOA board and ever since they have been extremely rude, disrespectful and making issues as a crisis when it isn’t. I’m not sure if I want to be on this board anymore. I don’t think I can take living here anymore either.
I don’t see it ending until I quit, or I get really ill or they get bored.
So I’m fed up and ready to cry. Here’s tonight’s painting…
It’s nothing but anger depression and feeling defeated.
My latest painting is about painting intuitively. But I am using this technique to help release my suppressed feelings as I go through harrassment and bullying from neighbors. I do not deserve to be bullied and have not deliberately done anything for neighbors to feel revengeful.
Last night I left the canvas looking like this, only painted the top of the canvas. I couldn’t paint the bottom, it was like my head could only see one part of the canvas. Look at the colors and the markings are forceful on the canvas.
Tonight this is where the painting ended:
So what’s the difference between the two days. Certainly, I painted on the entire canvas.
Yesterday was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. It was an unless day on top of an endless week. It’s difficult to live in a community where neighbors cause safety concerns because they don’t like someone or they feel they are entitled to what they want. I had much anger suppressed in my body throughout the last week. But really it’s been there longer. However the fear is causing more harm to me. This harrassment and bullying has been going on for the entire summer. Stop the bullying, stop the harrassment.
Today, it was a calm relaxing day. I was able to cross stitch, took a nap, cleaned my refrigerator and made a fresh batch of cold green tea for the week. I did yoga and meditation before I painted this evening, it was a 10 minute evening yoga.
Here’s some close up photos of tonight’s painting.
I’ll continue to post my intuitive painting. I will be focusing back into my art for the Etsy shop this week. I’m almost finished with another ear warmer.
“…ask yourself what you can do to get creative with your creativity.” Pg 131
Chapter 6 has some great thoughts about creating a space to be creative.
Space-what is your space like? friendly? Declutter needed? Music? Lighting? Color of room, books, artwork, plants, rugs etc
Time– time of day, “honor this time as scared and let those around you know that you won’t be available.”
Ritual-“…transform ordinary moments into focused, sacred time that builds meaning and honors the inner creative self.” Mark beginning and end of your creative time. (List of ideas are included on page 140)
He wrote about forming a creative group which would be a support for each other, allow time to be creative together, trade ideas, help each other and be accountable for the creative work.
On page 134, Jacob Nordby shares an exercise, that includes a few good questions.
What creative practice would bring more joy into your life? There’s a list on page 128-129 that is helpful to answer this question.
My answer: sewing and textile art, knitting and crochet, painting, growing a small business
What is the smallest habit that could bring me toward this practice?
My answer: Experiment with painting techniques, find new knitting stitches to learn, learn more about weaving and start gathering supplies to make a quilt and/or dolls.
This was my favorite topic to read in this book. Very helpful.
Two more chapters to read, more posts to come about this book.
I spent the early part of the morning relaxing. The studio is cool right now. So I decided to work on painting to distract my mind from some worry thoughts. Later today I’ll be cross stitching.
I’m enjoying painting these little flower paintings. I might continue flower paintings for another month. Also I am planning to read the Creative Cure book by Jacob Nordby this week and post some updates on it.
It’s been productive tonight in the studio. My mind was clear and I felt awake. This is the best I felt in a long time. I believe it’s because I went outside in the country and had a relaxing time at my dad’s house. I also think doing yoga daily has been helpful to manage my emotions.
More canvases was prepared. And I’m feeling confident about painting. I’m thinking the book by Jacob Nordby, the creative cure is also improving my intuition and creativity.
Hello, everyone! My name is Nadiia, you probably noticed, I have another blog about healthy eating and sports, it is my passion) As for this blog, I just decided to share my thoughts, my feelings. Do not judge, I am not a professional writer, I just trying to express myself.