This site is about my life in the art studio. It includes drawings, paintings, knitting and cross stitch and fun art techniques. I will also include recipes and yoga and book reviews. This is a lifestyle blog with intentional and simple living ideas.
Darkness of Anger is the title of tonight’s painting.
I am on edge. If you ever lived in a relationship of harrassment or abuse, then you will certainly understand.
Everyday there is something one of these people doing that infringes in my life. My home used to be an oasis. They destroyed it. I can’t walk my dog without constantly looking over my shoulder. They bang on doors. I will refuse to answer. They complain and want to take my personal time away. For some reason every complaint they make we must find a solution.
I used to have an evening of relaxation, watching tv, doing art, yoga. Now it’s filled with worries, constantly thinking and not feeling safe.
Has anyone lived in a community of HOA? I am on the HOA board and ever since they have been extremely rude, disrespectful and making issues as a crisis when it isn’t. I’m not sure if I want to be on this board anymore. I don’t think I can take living here anymore either.
I don’t see it ending until I quit, or I get really ill or they get bored.
So I’m fed up and ready to cry. Here’s tonight’s painting…
It’s nothing but anger depression and feeling defeated.
My latest painting is about painting intuitively. But I am using this technique to help release my suppressed feelings as I go through harrassment and bullying from neighbors. I do not deserve to be bullied and have not deliberately done anything for neighbors to feel revengeful.
Last night I left the canvas looking like this, only painted the top of the canvas. I couldn’t paint the bottom, it was like my head could only see one part of the canvas. Look at the colors and the markings are forceful on the canvas.
Tonight this is where the painting ended:
So what’s the difference between the two days. Certainly, I painted on the entire canvas.
Yesterday was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. It was an unless day on top of an endless week. It’s difficult to live in a community where neighbors cause safety concerns because they don’t like someone or they feel they are entitled to what they want. I had much anger suppressed in my body throughout the last week. But really it’s been there longer. However the fear is causing more harm to me. This harrassment and bullying has been going on for the entire summer. Stop the bullying, stop the harrassment.
Today, it was a calm relaxing day. I was able to cross stitch, took a nap, cleaned my refrigerator and made a fresh batch of cold green tea for the week. I did yoga and meditation before I painted this evening, it was a 10 minute evening yoga.
Here’s some close up photos of tonight’s painting.
I’ll continue to post my intuitive painting. I will be focusing back into my art for the Etsy shop this week. I’m almost finished with another ear warmer.
The last part of chapter 5 of The Creative Cure, by Jacob Nordby, had many writing exercises. I decided to return to those exercises later, as currently my mind has not been into the writing mode.
Chapter 6 is about revitalizing Action, page, 116 “I never feel more alive when I am in the midst of making something from nothing.” That was certainly true for me this past weekend. I spent the entire day in the studio painting and being creative.
Here are the key statements the author wrote that caught my attention.
“Creative practices also reduce anxiety, provide a sense of accomplishment, and connect us to others and the environment around us.” pg 119-120
“…the magic of practice lies in two ingredients: mindset and commitment,” pg 122
pg 123 “We compare ourselves to others and then reject our own work, not realizing we are rejecting ourselves and our pursuit of joy in the process.”
pg 126 the author stated that we may have a regular schedule for our craft but stated “..but we want to broaden the scope and meaning to include anything that helps us restore our connection to inner joy.”
Joyful Practice: it can decrease anxiety, stress, sadness, depression etc.
there is a list in this chapter and what makes you have strong emotional response he suggests to pay attention to that.
so here is what gave me a strong emotional response:
rescuing or raising animals
playing an instrument
sewing and textile art
making your own anything
growing a small business
This list will be used for the first exercise at the end of this chapter.
I am not surprised at the list that gave the a strong emotional connection. I’m curious about this exercise later in the book. Aren’t you?
I never wrote a poem this way. I liked it. It gave me a nostalgic feeling, a longing to return to that time, it brought tears in me, that I’ll never have that touch again. The tears are about the loss, grief of my mom’s passing, but it’s also a longing of wanting to have affection again.
Page 97. “…The real practice is to nourish a sense of safety and begin to send signals to your subconscious that you are good enough and worthy of being heard and seen and accepted.”