This is a more delicate doodle. I felt calmer on this day.
Part of me wants to color this, but the other part wants to keep it black and white.
Pray for Ukraine.
Happy Day
Caroline
#2 mandala
Category: meditation
#1 mandala
I am challenging myself to draw/doodle a mandala. Mandalas help to decrease anxiety and stress. I want to try to draw 30 mandalas. I know I will not do them daily and that’s not the point.
This is done with a black pen. Sometimes I like to keep more open spaces in my doodles.
I have been stressed with deciding if I leave my job. I decided to stay as I really want to work remotely. I don’t think at this time with the world events I should work from home. I feel more people will want office visits to keep human contact.
I also was stressed about life. I realized that I’m trying to be happy through a job, but it’s a job I’m no longer feeling fulfilled at.
Peace. Let’s pray for Ukraine.
Happy Day
Caroline
Day 8: Black and White- in Art Work
These are my black and white doodle drawings. I want to get back into designing these again.
Happy Day
Caroline
Morning Solitude
“The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment.”
unknown
This morning is a solitude morning. Quiet again. It is below zero wind chill and the cold really does go through your clothes. The house constantly is heated. I had to put blankets at the bottom of my doors to keep the cold out and the heat in. The windows also have towels along the window sill for the same reason.
I started my morning with hot tea and breakfast. It appears today will be a slow quiet day. I am hoping it will be that way for the entire day, as I will have to go into the office later.
Meditative Thinking
These slow quiet days allow me to think about what I want and to dream about it. The one thing I really want is to have a small house in the country and be able to work from home. I have not decided if I want to work from home at this time, or if I will wait another few years and do it. I need to also decide if I want to stay in my field. Working as a counselor for over ten years has been rewarding, but it is intense and quit frankly I am getting a burn out from the codependent needs and anger that comes through the office.
Meditative Goals
I dream of a holistic business, selling lotions, fragrances, candles, art, yoga and meditation items. I dream of providing coaching to improve the overall health. I want people to see the beauty and magic life can bring them. I want beauty around me and soft fabrics and warm colors and simple pleasures at work and at my home. I dream of a business with love and respect. I dream of peace and not having to worry about money and needing to worry about liability issues. I dream of a change for me.
Happy Day
Caroline
Today’s Meals
Today is cold with 12 inches of snow outside. The day might be a work from home day. Most of my clients are having their session by video. I’m waiting on one client to let me know what she wants.
I have not been doing yoga much lately. I started a yoga challenge with Yoga with Kassandra. The challenge is a 15 min yoga stretch and then a 5 min meditation.
I have energy after that!
Smoothie recipe
I had a fruit smoothie with blueberries, banana, dairy free yogurt and protein powder. Put all in a blender with almond milk.
Then I toasted a bagel and spread dairy free chive cream cheese from kite hill on it.
Breakfast photo
If course I needed a little chocolate, so I have 2 squares of enjoy life chocolate bar.
To make life a little easier, preparing for dinner early is the best thing to do for myself. After the client sessions, I’m exhausted mentally and physically my body is swollen from sitting most of the day.
I boiled frozen broccoli florets. That will be for the salad for dinner.
I also cleared out the refrigerator. I froze the fruit I had in there before it goes bad. That is the fruit I use for smoothies.
Brownies
I have the urge for chocolate brownies. The recipe is on the back of King Arthur gluten free measure for measure flour.
Lunch
Grilled chicken breast, rice, avocado and lemon dressing (Paul Newman’s salad dressing- lemon basil)
Happy Day
Caroline
Night #2 of Intuitive Painting
My latest painting is about painting intuitively. But I am using this technique to help release my suppressed feelings as I go through harrassment and bullying from neighbors. I do not deserve to be bullied and have not deliberately done anything for neighbors to feel revengeful.
Last night I left the canvas looking like this, only painted the top of the canvas. I couldn’t paint the bottom, it was like my head could only see one part of the canvas. Look at the colors and the markings are forceful on the canvas.
Tonight this is where the painting ended:
So what’s the difference between the two days. Certainly, I painted on the entire canvas.
Yesterday was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. It was an unless day on top of an endless week. It’s difficult to live in a community where neighbors cause safety concerns because they don’t like someone or they feel they are entitled to what they want. I had much anger suppressed in my body throughout the last week. But really it’s been there longer. However the fear is causing more harm to me. This harrassment and bullying has been going on for the entire summer. Stop the bullying, stop the harrassment.
Today, it was a calm relaxing day. I was able to cross stitch, took a nap, cleaned my refrigerator and made a fresh batch of cold green tea for the week. I did yoga and meditation before I painted this evening, it was a 10 minute evening yoga.
Here’s some close up photos of tonight’s painting.
I’ll continue to post my intuitive painting. I will be focusing back into my art for the Etsy shop this week. I’m almost finished with another ear warmer.
Happy Day
Caroline
Etsy shop: Https://4pawsartstudio.etsy.com
A Day of Rest
Today is my day off of work. I’m in need of a little rest. Unfortunately, the late afternoon I will need to go to the store. Have to look for sheds and a tree to plant.
Morning, I take my time getting up. Feed the cats and dog. Take the dog for a little walk. Have my hot tea with Goji berries in it (helps immune system and fights inflammation). Sometimes a few knitting stitches might get done. Sometimes I’ll lay down again.
Then off to my studio where I have my yoga mat. Usually a 15 minute yoga practice for the morning is my choice. Just enough to wake my body up.
After a walk with my dog, I’ll make a smoothie.
This morning a fruit smoothie sounded delicious.
When I buy fresh fruits, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries and bananas, sometimes I’ll put them in the freezer to save before they spoil.
(bananas need to be cut in small slices, set on a cookie sheet and put in freezer for a few hours or overnight. Then transfer to a freezer bag.)
Fruit smoothie
- 2/3 cup of frozen berries
- 1 whole banana
- 1 tablespoon flax seed
- 1/2 cup or more pineapple juice
Put all in the blender. Pour in a glass. Enjoy.
Today is the start of me using a water bottle with times on it. It helps to remember to drink water throughout the day and ensures you get the amount you need.
I have Edema in my legs. The swelling and inflammation is causing it. The blood tests do not show it’s from other organs complicating anything. Unfortunately I hold onto water fluid especially in the summer. But it’s the entire year I have this. I wear compression socks in the fall and winter. But it’s too hot in the spring and summer to wear them. Part of the problem with Edema is water fluid is from actually not having enough water, so the body holds onto it. (Unless you have congested heart disease etc) please I’m not a doctor so follow what your doctor’s recommends.
Here’s my water bottle.
I spent some time in the studio this morning. All the 8″x8″ canvases has the first coat of paint on it.
It’s lunch time… I’m not very hungry. Lunch will consist of rice cakes-salt free, peanut butter, banana , and water
I ended up with a headache. Could be a sign of a storm coming.
I’m now on the sofa, going to take a nap. And do some knitting for the remainder of the day.
I took out frozen gluten free barbeque chicken I made a few weeks ago…that will be dinner with a salad.
Just never know when chronic illness and rheumatoid arthritis changes things on you.
Happy Day
Caroline
The creative cure-the book
I found myself at the check out with a book titled The Creative Cure, by Jacob Nordby. It drew me to it, simply because I have been feeling drained in all aspects of my life. Upon picking this book up I was doubting my own self-expression and creativity and skill. Since art school, I stopped doing art on a daily basis, I ended up in a career that is highly stressful and in relationships that were toxic and unfulfilled. I have no joy and feel my soul is dead.
I attend counseling and I was just talking about this with my counselor a few weeks ago. That was when I made a vision board. I really want to live my life based on this vision board. But… as the book describes: on page xviii
“I now knew that I had created a life based on acquisition of stuff that was fueled by an inner fear of rejection, all in a futile attempt to live up to society’s definition of success. I also knew it was quite literally killing me and that I couldn’t do it much longer. Yet I was stuck, afraid to destroy what I had built. how could I walk away from my house, job, wife, or kids? I felt I would rather die.” (Nordby)
There it was in black and white staring at me, the words I have been thinking and feeling. I now have no choice but continue to read this book and continue with the exercises in this book in hopes the creative cure will greet me as it did for this author.
exercise one: Journaling
what?! that is something I tell my clients to do. But me, you are asking me to journal. Yes, I don’t feel like I am a writer, I don’t want my vulnerability out there for others to find and I have no idea what to write about. He mentioned that journal writing can help let go of the traumas, sadness and anything stopping the creativity. I do believe that, so I must start writing.
exercise two: Meditation
okay you got me Jacob Nordby. Yes I meditated, but never was consistent. Yes I do yoga, but no I never connect it to a meditative state. So now I need to fulfill my time on the mat with more focus on a meditative state to connect with my mind and body than simply doing it to feel better with my physical health.
I will be posting more about the exercises in posts to come as I explore this book and find my way back to creativity.
where’s my flower paintings: glad you wondered: my studio has been extremely stuffy and hot. I am unable to safely be in there for a few hours without overheating and having my legs and feet swell. So the air conditioner man will be coming tomorrow and hopefully it can be repaired. But if I have to replace it I accepted the expense it will take on me. I really need air conditioning. My acupuncturist told me yesterday I need to eat cool meals and stay in a cool room, because my blood vessels are expanding causing edema to get worse.
A little doodle that I can do away from my studio ….
Happy Day
Caroline
4pawsartstudio 
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