This site is about my life in the art studio. It includes drawings, paintings, knitting and cross stitch and fun art techniques. I will also include recipes and yoga and book reviews. This is a lifestyle blog with intentional and simple living ideas.
I need love. I need to be surrounded by things and people that are love.
I want to fall in love. And I want him to be in love with me.
Love.
Searching My Mind
Lately I have realized that I am constantly searching for something more. I search through making art, thinking that selling my art would be the answer. It is not. I thought focusing on my physical health would help. Not really , I am bored. I dived into my career, but that only leads to burn out.
Then it occurred to me, I want my own LOVE STORY.
Love Story
There’s a hole in my heart that has been empty for many years. I have seen countless times of people getting married, having babies, going on dates, having a companion at their side while I remain alone.
I want to fall in love. But not that I have a crush, he’s so cute, and flirts a little and then have a fantasy in my head. No not that kind.
I’m talking about getting lost in the guy’s eyes, smiling with ease when I see him, feeling my heart leap at the sight of him. I want the feeling that it’s just us in the room and no one else is there. You know like in the movies, where the sounds in the room go silent as two people drift endlessly in each other’s eyes and you don’t hear anything for a while in the movie. Like that.
And I want the caress of his hand on my back, smelling his cologne and feeling the heat from his body.
I want the longing to be kissed to be in the past and feel safe with a man who is affectionate and wants to make love with his soul attached to my soul.
I want to be in love.
I want to have deep conversations, laughs, silly arguments, and just sit quietly next to each other.
I want to wake up with a man who wants to hug, kiss, make love and surrender his life to mine. As mine to his.
I want to cry with him during his difficulties and I want to hug him during his happier times.
I want to go to church with him, pray with him and keep my Catholic faith. I want him to find importance for church life. I want a man who puts God in his life.
I want the summer days filled with watching the sunrise or sunset together. I want the winter days to be held under a blanket together.
I am ready to embrace the man who I am to love and want to be with my soulmate.
I am ready. I want to be in love.
I know he’s ready for me. My future husband is ready.
It has been a difficult last few months. I got the flu and recovered then I got Covid.
In between the flu and COVID, I was working and trying to catch up on things I needed to do. But Thanksgiving came and before I knew it I was sick for two weeks with COVID. I am still recovering from the fatigue it brings. But of course I started to get sinus and allergy problems.
The To Do List
Today is Monday. I have been going to the adoration chapel for an hour to fulfill my ministry. It’s a nice place to talk to God and just take time to reflect on all his goodness.
But starting this week I’m going to take time to clean and reorganize my belongings and maybe find items to donate or sell.
Etsy disappoints Me
I tried selling my items on Etsy. But I took my art off of it. I was being harassed by a “customer” I won’t go into the details but I’m disappointed in that site. It’s hard to get noticed unless you pay for ads.
I’m not sure if I was to pursue selling my art anymore. I lost my motivation for it and feel my interests moved into learning to sew and make a quilt.
I started the Daniel Fast a few weeks ago as an inspiration to get back on track with my eating habits. I have an autoimmune illness, rheumatoid arthritis, lipedema, lymphedema and have to eat dairy free and gluten free.
I stopped eating meat, but I still eat seafood on occasion.
Today’s Lunch
I made brussel sprouts and pasta.
Here’s what I did
cut brussel sprouts in half, saute in olive oil with salt and pepper.
After it has cooked add cranberries pecans. With a little bit of red wine vinegar.
Then make the pasta, drain it. Put it back in the saucepan add olive oil and vegan Parmesan cheese.
I also added a cucumber tomato green pepper salad with balsamic vinegar dressing.
This was delicious. Light on the stomach and filling!
I am hungry tonight. But I don’t have the energy to cook. Today I worked and was able to put my legs up to decrease the swelling. I had my compression socks on along with a dress that is loose.
My legs are swollen from lymphedema and lipedema. The swelling is causing difficulty to walk. I think it’s from the pressure on my foot with the weight of fluid on my foot.
The frustrating thing is with the Daniel Fast my digestion has improved there’s clarity in my thinking. But the fatigue and swelling is still around. At least I am not bloated.
But I’m hungry and want to simply eat something that is unhealthy just to fill the stomach quickly.
I had some grapes. But I don’t know what to eat. So I’m going to rest and if I wake up hungry I’ll find the energy to make something.
4pawsartstudio 
You must be logged in to post a comment.