This site is about my life in the art studio. It includes drawings, paintings, knitting and cross stitch and fun art techniques. I will also include recipes and yoga and book reviews. This is a lifestyle blog with intentional and simple living ideas.
If you do anything out of sheer compassion, you will never be wrong.
Yogi tea
I started this month with an exercise plan and would later incorporate time for my art making.
Well some things have changed. But I have started back on my exercises and made an intention to draw a few minutes each night.
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Caroline
It’s been difficult the last few days. I have been drained and just couldn’t keep up with what I needed to do.
So I decided to do a small drawing for meditation.
I started with a scribble, then colored the shapes in with colored pencils. Afterwards I added details in the shapes and around the shapes with a black pen.
Caroline
“The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment.”
unknown
This morning is a solitude morning. Quiet again. It is below zero wind chill and the cold really does go through your clothes. The house constantly is heated. I had to put blankets at the bottom of my doors to keep the cold out and the heat in. The windows also have towels along the window sill for the same reason.
I started my morning with hot tea and breakfast. It appears today will be a slow quiet day. I am hoping it will be that way for the entire day, as I will have to go into the office later.
These slow quiet days allow me to think about what I want and to dream about it. The one thing I really want is to have a small house in the country and be able to work from home. I have not decided if I want to work from home at this time, or if I will wait another few years and do it. I need to also decide if I want to stay in my field. Working as a counselor for over ten years has been rewarding, but it is intense and quit frankly I am getting a burn out from the codependent needs and anger that comes through the office.
I dream of a holistic business, selling lotions, fragrances, candles, art, yoga and meditation items. I dream of providing coaching to improve the overall health. I want people to see the beauty and magic life can bring them. I want beauty around me and soft fabrics and warm colors and simple pleasures at work and at my home. I dream of a business with love and respect. I dream of peace and not having to worry about money and needing to worry about liability issues. I dream of a change for me.
Happy Day
Caroline
Today is cold with 12 inches of snow outside. The day might be a work from home day. Most of my clients are having their session by video. I’m waiting on one client to let me know what she wants.
I have not been doing yoga much lately. I started a yoga challenge with Yoga with Kassandra. The challenge is a 15 min yoga stretch and then a 5 min meditation.
I have energy after that!
I had a fruit smoothie with blueberries, banana, dairy free yogurt and protein powder. Put all in a blender with almond milk.
Then I toasted a bagel and spread dairy free chive cream cheese from kite hill on it.
If course I needed a little chocolate, so I have 2 squares of enjoy life chocolate bar.
To make life a little easier, preparing for dinner early is the best thing to do for myself. After the client sessions, I’m exhausted mentally and physically my body is swollen from sitting most of the day.
I boiled frozen broccoli florets. That will be for the salad for dinner.
I also cleared out the refrigerator. I froze the fruit I had in there before it goes bad. That is the fruit I use for smoothies.
I have the urge for chocolate brownies. The recipe is on the back of King Arthur gluten free measure for measure flour.
Grilled chicken breast, rice, avocado and lemon dressing (Paul Newman’s salad dressing- lemon basil)
Happy Day
Caroline
My latest painting is about painting intuitively. But I am using this technique to help release my suppressed feelings as I go through harrassment and bullying from neighbors. I do not deserve to be bullied and have not deliberately done anything for neighbors to feel revengeful.
Last night I left the canvas looking like this, only painted the top of the canvas. I couldn’t paint the bottom, it was like my head could only see one part of the canvas. Look at the colors and the markings are forceful on the canvas.
Tonight this is where the painting ended:
So what’s the difference between the two days. Certainly, I painted on the entire canvas.
Yesterday was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. It was an unless day on top of an endless week. It’s difficult to live in a community where neighbors cause safety concerns because they don’t like someone or they feel they are entitled to what they want. I had much anger suppressed in my body throughout the last week. But really it’s been there longer. However the fear is causing more harm to me. This harrassment and bullying has been going on for the entire summer. Stop the bullying, stop the harrassment.
Today, it was a calm relaxing day. I was able to cross stitch, took a nap, cleaned my refrigerator and made a fresh batch of cold green tea for the week. I did yoga and meditation before I painted this evening, it was a 10 minute evening yoga.
Here’s some close up photos of tonight’s painting.
I’ll continue to post my intuitive painting. I will be focusing back into my art for the Etsy shop this week. I’m almost finished with another ear warmer.
Happy Day
Caroline
Etsy shop: Https://4pawsartstudio.etsy.com
If you have been following my posts lately, I have been reading The Creative Cure by Jacob Nordby. It has been examining how a person can have a creative block caused by socialization, traumatic experiences and rejection.
He writes on page 38, “As we grow older, we tend to trade imagination for logic, and like any other skill we don’t use, we get out of practice using our imagination.” We must have the right answer, the right way of doing things etc. No imagination anymore when we are adults!
I love this statement on page 39. “Imagination is personal-each of us does it differently (though it can be done in groups with exciting results).”
in summary of this section of the book : Imagination is a muscle and we can practice it and strengthen it at any time.
Chose a problem:
my problem is: Not having enough fun and laughter in my life.
use online random word generator: grab the first word you find
My word is: Defend
write about the ways your problem might be like this word:
here’s my writing:
I have to constantly defend myself, my actions, my decisions. I felt all my life everyone watched me, watched what I was doing and had a sarcastic input about it. I have to defend my work, my counseling skills, my decisions at work. I have to defend my requests and comments. I have to defend my opinions. I have no one to help defend me. I am alone in this world fighting for my place, guarded ready to defend. I feel insecure to let go of my defense and become vulnerable while everyone is watching. I have to defend my decisions with my home, my decisions with my career and my decisions with my money and my physical health. I have to answer to everyone, but I am alone. This makes me irritated. I don’t know the solution to this. I feel happier when I am alone in my own space. I don’t want to defend myself about my decision to create art and focus on my self-care. I don’t need to defend myself to others, no one owns me. I can decide what I want and allowed to make my own mistakes. I am allowed to live and take chances with my life. I am allowed to spend my money on a vacation or my home if I want. So be it, people just have to accept that I am alive and that they don’t need to control me. They need to accept that I want things that are different than they want for me. So be it. I need to not focus on defending myself but just taking chances and not feel anxious about making a mistake and people watching me.
That was difficult because I had to meditate for 10 minuets. I daydreamed about having fun with my childhood friend, Kim. I miss her and wish we stayed connected.
Make a plan to do art stuff—I kinda do that. maybe I need to actually label it in my calendar
I need to start listening to when I say or hear or think “I should, or I should not.”
he suggests to write these down, and essentially think about them and write about it later.
What if I am perfect just as I am right now?
What if I am enough?
What if everything is just as it should be right this moment?
What if I am doing the best I can?
This was a chapter with an overwhelming amount of exercises. I definitely want to do the meditation again. I want to be able to remember the fun and creativity we had together.
I have some thinking and processing to do with this chapter.
Happy Day
Caroline
I found myself at the check out with a book titled The Creative Cure, by Jacob Nordby. It drew me to it, simply because I have been feeling drained in all aspects of my life. Upon picking this book up I was doubting my own self-expression and creativity and skill. Since art school, I stopped doing art on a daily basis, I ended up in a career that is highly stressful and in relationships that were toxic and unfulfilled. I have no joy and feel my soul is dead.
I attend counseling and I was just talking about this with my counselor a few weeks ago. That was when I made a vision board. I really want to live my life based on this vision board. But… as the book describes: on page xviii
“I now knew that I had created a life based on acquisition of stuff that was fueled by an inner fear of rejection, all in a futile attempt to live up to society’s definition of success. I also knew it was quite literally killing me and that I couldn’t do it much longer. Yet I was stuck, afraid to destroy what I had built. how could I walk away from my house, job, wife, or kids? I felt I would rather die.” (Nordby)
There it was in black and white staring at me, the words I have been thinking and feeling. I now have no choice but continue to read this book and continue with the exercises in this book in hopes the creative cure will greet me as it did for this author.
what?! that is something I tell my clients to do. But me, you are asking me to journal. Yes, I don’t feel like I am a writer, I don’t want my vulnerability out there for others to find and I have no idea what to write about. He mentioned that journal writing can help let go of the traumas, sadness and anything stopping the creativity. I do believe that, so I must start writing.
okay you got me Jacob Nordby. Yes I meditated, but never was consistent. Yes I do yoga, but no I never connect it to a meditative state. So now I need to fulfill my time on the mat with more focus on a meditative state to connect with my mind and body than simply doing it to feel better with my physical health.
I will be posting more about the exercises in posts to come as I explore this book and find my way back to creativity.
where’s my flower paintings: glad you wondered: my studio has been extremely stuffy and hot. I am unable to safely be in there for a few hours without overheating and having my legs and feet swell. So the air conditioner man will be coming tomorrow and hopefully it can be repaired. But if I have to replace it I accepted the expense it will take on me. I really need air conditioning. My acupuncturist told me yesterday I need to eat cool meals and stay in a cool room, because my blood vessels are expanding causing edema to get worse.
A little doodle that I can do away from my studio ….
Happy Day
Caroline
This is a floral drawing using gel pens.
I used a meditative approach to draw the floral drawing. I thought about the shapes flowers have and added in my own creative ideas to it.
The added details are done by chance. Meaning, I randomly pick a color and place a shape amount the other shapes.
Happy day
Caroline
Flower #3 will be painted with acrylic paints and acrylic markers.
The process is scribble a floral scene using a mediative approach.
Here’s the final outcome. I painted this for an hour. It felt great to let my paint brush to decide what happens to the painting.
I’m satisfied with the outcome.
Happy day
Caroline
Etsy shop is open 4pawsartstudio
Have you ever wondered how to make a vision board?
It is simple. There’s a few ideas I have to make one that will show you what your goals are.
Some ideas about vision boards:
Vision Board Supplies
1. Start by going through the magazine to find words, phrases, or pictures that represent your goals
2. Arrange the pictures into the poster board.
3. Optional place construction paper on the poster board to add colors in-between the pictures.
4. Once it is arranged, glue the pictures.
5 optional use washi tape to add color between the pictures.
Enjoy making your vision board
Etsy shop is open: 4pawsartstudio
Happy day
Caroline
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