acrylic painting · art · art journal · art studio · art therapy · intuitive Painting · meditation

Night #2 of Intuitive Painting

My latest painting is about painting intuitively. But I am using this technique to help release my suppressed feelings as I go through harrassment and bullying from neighbors. I do not deserve to be bullied and have not deliberately done anything for neighbors to feel revengeful.

Last night I left the canvas looking like this, only painted the top of the canvas. I couldn’t paint the bottom, it was like my head could only see one part of the canvas. Look at the colors and the markings are forceful on the canvas.

Tonight this is where the painting ended:

So what’s the difference between the two days. Certainly, I painted on the entire canvas.

Yesterday was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. It was an unless day on top of an endless week. It’s difficult to live in a community where neighbors cause safety concerns because they don’t like someone or they feel they are entitled to what they want. I had much anger suppressed in my body throughout the last week. But really it’s been there longer. However the fear is causing more harm to me. This harrassment and bullying has been going on for the entire summer. Stop the bullying, stop the harrassment.

Today, it was a calm relaxing day. I was able to cross stitch, took a nap, cleaned my refrigerator and made a fresh batch of cold green tea for the week. I did yoga and meditation before I painted this evening, it was a 10 minute evening yoga.

Here’s some close up photos of tonight’s painting.

I’ll continue to post my intuitive painting. I will be focusing back into my art for the Etsy shop this week. I’m almost finished with another ear warmer.

Happy Day

Caroline

Etsy shop: Https://4pawsartstudio.etsy.com

book

Chapter 3 The Creative Cure

If you have been following my posts lately, I have been reading The Creative Cure by Jacob Nordby. It has been examining how a person can have a creative block caused by socialization, traumatic experiences and rejection.

Chapter 3 is about Restoring Imagination

He writes on page 38, “As we grow older, we tend to trade imagination for logic, and like any other skill we don’t use, we get out of practice using our imagination.” We must have the right answer, the right way of doing things etc. No imagination anymore when we are adults!

I love this statement on page 39. “Imagination is personal-each of us does it differently (though it can be done in groups with exciting results).”

in summary of this section of the book : Imagination is a muscle and we can practice it and strengthen it at any time.

Exercise from the book: Problem-solving with random words

Chose a problem:

my problem is: Not having enough fun and laughter in my life.

use online random word generator: grab the first word you find

My word is: Defend

write about the ways your problem might be like this word:

here’s my writing:

I have to constantly defend myself, my actions, my decisions. I felt all my life everyone watched me, watched what I was doing and had a sarcastic input about it. I have to defend my work, my counseling skills, my decisions at work. I have to defend my requests and comments. I have to defend my opinions. I have no one to help defend me. I am alone in this world fighting for my place, guarded ready to defend. I feel insecure to let go of my defense and become vulnerable while everyone is watching. I have to defend my decisions with my home, my decisions with my career and my decisions with my money and my physical health. I have to answer to everyone, but I am alone. This makes me irritated. I don’t know the solution to this. I feel happier when I am alone in my own space. I don’t want to defend myself about my decision to create art and focus on my self-care. I don’t need to defend myself to others, no one owns me. I can decide what I want and allowed to make my own mistakes. I am allowed to live and take chances with my life. I am allowed to spend my money on a vacation or my home if I want. So be it, people just have to accept that I am alive and that they don’t need to control me. They need to accept that I want things that are different than they want for me. So be it. I need to not focus on defending myself but just taking chances and not feel anxious about making a mistake and people watching me.

exercise: Daydreaming Meditation: daydream about having fun with someone

That was difficult because I had to meditate for 10 minuets. I daydreamed about having fun with my childhood friend, Kim. I miss her and wish we stayed connected.

exercise: artists dates:

Make a plan to do art stuff—I kinda do that. maybe I need to actually label it in my calendar

exercise: shoulds and should’ts: the tools of socialization

I need to start listening to when I say or hear or think “I should, or I should not.”

exercise: what if you are perfect now?

he suggests to write these down, and essentially think about them and write about it later.

What if I am perfect just as I am right now?

What if I am enough?

What if everything is just as it should be right this moment?

What if I am doing the best I can?

This was a chapter with an overwhelming amount of exercises. I definitely want to do the meditation again. I want to be able to remember the fun and creativity we had together.

I have some thinking and processing to do with this chapter.

Happy Day

Caroline

book · journal writing · meditation

The creative cure-the book

I found myself at the check out with a book titled The Creative Cure, by Jacob Nordby. It drew me to it, simply because I have been feeling drained in all aspects of my life. Upon picking this book up I was doubting my own self-expression and creativity and skill. Since art school, I stopped doing art on a daily basis, I ended up in a career that is highly stressful and in relationships that were toxic and unfulfilled. I have no joy and feel my soul is dead.

I attend counseling and I was just talking about this with my counselor a few weeks ago. That was when I made a vision board. I really want to live my life based on this vision board. But… as the book describes: on page xviii

“I now knew that I had created a life based on acquisition of stuff that was fueled by an inner fear of rejection, all in a futile attempt to live up to society’s definition of success. I also knew it was quite literally killing me and that I couldn’t do it much longer. Yet I was stuck, afraid to destroy what I had built. how could I walk away from my house, job, wife, or kids? I felt I would rather die.” (Nordby)

There it was in black and white staring at me, the words I have been thinking and feeling. I now have no choice but continue to read this book and continue with the exercises in this book in hopes the creative cure will greet me as it did for this author.

exercise one: Journaling

what?! that is something I tell my clients to do. But me, you are asking me to journal. Yes, I don’t feel like I am a writer, I don’t want my vulnerability out there for others to find and I have no idea what to write about. He mentioned that journal writing can help let go of the traumas, sadness and anything stopping the creativity. I do believe that, so I must start writing.

exercise two: Meditation

okay you got me Jacob Nordby. Yes I meditated, but never was consistent. Yes I do yoga, but no I never connect it to a meditative state. So now I need to fulfill my time on the mat with more focus on a meditative state to connect with my mind and body than simply doing it to feel better with my physical health.

I will be posting more about the exercises in posts to come as I explore this book and find my way back to creativity.

where’s my flower paintings: glad you wondered: my studio has been extremely stuffy and hot. I am unable to safely be in there for a few hours without overheating and having my legs and feet swell. So the air conditioner man will be coming tomorrow and hopefully it can be repaired. But if I have to replace it I accepted the expense it will take on me. I really need air conditioning. My acupuncturist told me yesterday I need to eat cool meals and stay in a cool room, because my blood vessels are expanding causing edema to get worse.

A little doodle that I can do away from my studio ….

Happy Day

Caroline

art · art journal · art studio · art therapy · doodle drawing · gel pens · Uncategorized

Flower #3 Bloom from Within

This is a floral drawing using gel pens.

I used a meditative approach to draw the floral drawing. I thought about the shapes flowers have and added in my own creative ideas to it.

The added details are done by chance. Meaning, I randomly pick a color and place a shape amount the other shapes.


Happy day
Caroline

art · art journal · art therapy · collage · crafts · vision Board

Vision Board

Have you ever wondered how to make a vision board?

It is simple. There’s a few ideas I have to make one that will show you what your goals are.

Some ideas about vision boards:

  1. Choose a specific goal such as a career board, vacation board, home board etc
  2. Use categories to make your vision board. The entire board will capture one image for each category.
  3. Meditate on your vision board. What you meditate on can be the focus of the vision board.

Vision Board Supplies

  • Magazines
  • Access to s computer and color printer
  • Scissors
  • Glue stick
  • Washi tape
  • Construction paper
  • Large size poster board

1. Start by going through the magazine to find words, phrases, or pictures that represent your goals

2. Arrange the pictures into the poster board.

3. Optional place construction paper on the poster board to add colors in-between the pictures.

4. Once it is arranged, glue the pictures.

5 optional use washi tape to add color between the pictures.

Enjoy making your vision board

Etsy shop is open: 4pawsartstudio

Happy day
Caroline